loverofprose

and the costume that I've been working on is looking more and more like nothing at all. I'm frustrated with myself... not because my goldfish girl is a bust, but because I don't care about the failure.

The evening will more than likely be lovely... filled with friends and vices. I will be happy and playful and even a bit charming.

But I will come home and be sad and lonely and feel like all that goodness was wasted on me. It doesn't change a goddamn thing.

"A taste of honey's worse than none at all."... I hear Smokey Robinson in my head.

Oh yeah, sorry for the interuption... back to my apathy and indifference. Oh! And lack of ambition.... can't forget that....

I feel like that Bright Eyes lyric: "I'll fight like hell to hide that I've given up."

Please give me my life back.

is anyone else completely over their 20s?

It is not a crime to dislike biscotti.

so, i'm back here. and i'm wondering why i'm back here. i guess it's because sundays are always the hardest. it's the longest i have to wait to see jack again, and that is overwhelmingly depressing. it's hard to talk to anyone else because no one wants to hear someone whine about how much they miss their boyfriend.

he's really amazing though. i mean really. i honestly don't deserve this amazing guy in my life. he went to see this amazingly horrible vagina movie for me, we went on a cellphone plan together so that we can talk even more than we already do (if that's even possible), then to top off the whole damn shi-bang he surprises me with the complete mr. show series (for absolutely no reason). he let me listen to huey lewis, when he wanted to listen to ac/dc. and we ate nachos. and he even recited that same lame simpsons/gerald ford joke about football and nachos with me. i won the fucking lottery.

almost 2 years have come and gone between us. 2 fucking years. and he's my best friend. i can honestly say that there is no one in the world i'd rather be around. and i am comfortable saying that the feeling is mutual. i know that. i am desperately and madly in love with him. but what's even more important is that i really like him.

to all the skeptics, the obvious ones and the not-so-obvious ones: you should see the morning afters. they are the most revoltingly cute displays.

my back hurts.

and i miss my boyfriend.

woe is me.

ok. so i can only dedicate my time and attention to one internet time sucking social site... and right now that is myspace. why? i couldn't tell you. so yeah.

I can't think of a single reason why I am awake right now. I really do miss you all. Call me.

i miss my friends.
i miss having cool hair.
i miss smoking without that guilty feeling.
i miss my boyfriend.
i miss my box with all the dirty clothes.
i miss my roommate.
i miss having a cake job.
i miss saves the day.
i miss roaming the city alone.
i miss being able to walk outside without any kind of fear.


but i'm loving the sound of my grandma washing dishes next to me.

ya'll don't wanna hear me...
you just wanna dance...


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